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backstory [2026/03/07 20:07] – harryhbackstory [2026/03/07 21:26] (current) – harryh
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 > "The hardest thing about approval is that once you've had it, you spend the rest of your life knowing exactly what you're missing." > "The hardest thing about approval is that once you've had it, you spend the rest of your life knowing exactly what you're missing."
 +
 +----
 +
 +===== Personality =====
 +
 +Harry is quiet in company in a way that reads as passive but isn't. He has spent a long time being talked over and talked around, and he learned early that the most useful thing you can do in a room full of people performing at each other is to stop performing and start listening. He misses very little. He acts on what he notices selectively and without announcement.
 +
 +He is careful with his emotions — not closed off, but deliberate. He grew up in an environment where emotional expression had consequences, where a surge of feeling could move furniture or shatter glass, and where the clinical staff wrote down everything they observed. He learned to keep the volume low. After seven years away he's made peace with the fact that this is simply how he's built, and stopped trying to be louder than he is.
 +
 +Underneath the quietness he is genuinely warm. It takes time to find and he doesn't offer it freely, but it's there — in the way he remembers what people have told him, in the way he notices when something is wrong before anyone has said anything, in the way he stayed curious about the siblings for seven years of absence rather than letting them become abstractions.
 +
 +He has dark humour, deployed sparingly. He is perceptive to the point of being occasionally unsettling. He is not above saying the thing nobody else in the room is willing to say, as long as it's true.
 +
 +----
 +
 +===== Ideals =====
 +
 +**Honesty.** Harry would rather say a hard thing than a comfortable one. Not brutally — he's not interested in honesty as a weapon — but cleanly, because he has spent his life in environments where things were not said plainly and he knows the cost of that. A truth that lands badly is still more useful than a lie that lands well. He applies this to himself too, which is why his journal reads the way it does: no softening, no performance, just the thing as it actually is.
 +
 +**Understanding.** He wants to know why things are the way they are. Why the father made the choices he made. Why the siblings became what they became. Why the house did what it did to each of them. Not to use the information — not primarily — but because not knowing is a specific kind of weight and he has been carrying it for years. The answers in the mansion's files are one of the real reasons he came back.
 +
 +----
 +
 +===== Bonds =====
 +
 +**The siblings.** Complicated, unresolved, and still his regardless. He left without saying goodbye and carried them for seven years anyway — in journal entries, in the family photograph, in the specific ongoing project of trying to understand who they were and what happened to them. They are the people he is most himself around, even now, even after everything. Possibly because they're the only ones who knew him when he was still becoming whoever he is.
 +
 +**The journal.** Rhys gave it to him at twelve — a plain book, no explanation beyond //everyone should have somewhere to put things that don't go anywhere else.// Harry has been putting things there ever since, in variations of that same book, for twelve years. It is the only unbroken record of who he has been. He carried it out through the rear wall at seventeen and it has been with him every day since. If he lost it he would be fine. He would also be, in some way he couldn't fully articulate, significantly less whole.
 +
 +----
 +
 +===== Flaws =====
 +
 +**He waits to be believed rather than asking for it.** This is the wound that runs deepest and expresses itself most quietly. Harry has spent his life noticing things, knowing things, arriving at correct conclusions — and not being believed, or not being asked, or simply not being in the room when the conversation happened. He learned to hold what he knew and wait for the moment it became useful, and he never fully unlearned it. The cost is that people who don't know him well read the waiting as withholding, as coolness, as disinterest. Some of them are not entirely wrong. He is withholding — not manipulatively, but protectively, because offering the thing and being dismissed is worse than not offering it at all.
 +
 +**The seven years are not easily explained.** He left, he was gone, he came back. That's the summary. The middle section — the depots, the warehouse, the farm work, the flat with the east-facing window, the slow process of building a life without any of the context that usually scaffolds one — doesn't compress into a conversation. He doesn't always try to make it. This means people fill the gap with their own interpretation, and their interpretation is sometimes unflattering, and Harry accepts this with a patience that occasionally tips into resignation.
 +
 +He is working on asking for things more directly. Progress is slow.
  
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 ^ Gender       | Genderfluid, male                           | ^ Gender       | Genderfluid, male                           |
 ^ Number       | TBC — assigned by DM                        | ^ Number       | TBC — assigned by DM                        |
 +^ Alignment    | Neutral Good, Harry does what he thinks is right. Institutional authority, family hierarchy, and inherited rules don't factor into that calculus much — the compass is his own and it points where it points. |
 ^ Species      | Changeling                                  | ^ Species      | Changeling                                  |
 ^ Background   | Haunted One                                 | ^ Background   | Haunted One                                 |

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